Profilia
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I’d make you mine, if only you knew.
Honestly, i didn’t have the courage to confess cause honestly we’re two worlds apart. You are everything that i wanted, with a smile that worths every single while.
I had a chance, but it’s definitely too late now.
I’m not the world’s best looking, singer, cook, whatever you name it but i’m sure i’ll give you the best.
One thing that is holding me back for sure, is that you’re attached.
The one that got away.
:)
(Source: icanread)
Here’s the deal, life it ain’t easy as it seems.
The wonders of making it perfect, will never come true. Let these imperfections make the better of us. To err is human, to forgive is divine. We’ve grown maturely and have adapted a lifestyle of understanding and reasoning to every situation.
The past few weeks left quite an impact on me, emotionally and mentally. I came upon an impromptu life lesson, that taught the importance of people around us. You can have a million and one friends, but the ones that really stood by you through thick or thin, couldn’t even make up to the amount of fingers you have.
A valuable lesson learnt, to cherish, to open up your heart to those that matters because one thing that is for sure; the closest to you will never judge you. Learn to share, because they do care (tacky much, but it’s true!). Guys, put your ego aside for once, and open up; everyone has a sensitive side. Shedding a tear to share your problems, doesn’t mean you’re one helluva loser or a whimp.
It just proves to show you have feelings and humanity running you; it proves you are human.
Don’t suppress or generate hate; spread the love instead.
Cheers.
“If you ask yourself why musicians charge so much for performances. We don’t get paid vacation, we don’t get paid sick days, we don’t get bonuses for outstanding performances nor for Christmas. We don’t have insurance plans nor do we qualify for unemployment. We sacrifice our family on special days so that we can bring happiness to others. Illness or personal affairs are not excuses for a bad performance. Next time you ask, remember that musicians are musicians because of the love of music, but that love doesn’t pay debts. Happy Musicians Day!! Re-post if you’re a musician or feel the same to for them” - (respect.)
I’m thankful, but in all i think i have been lying to myself.
I’m thankful, but things have not been great.
I’m thankful, but why do such horrible things still happen?
I’m thankful, but i’ve been lied too one two many times.
I’m thankful, but being nice pays.
I’m thankful, but my best intentions always messes things up.
I’m thankful, but i am tired of giving without receiving.
I’m thankful, but they call me selfish.
I’m thankful, but sensitivity and appreciation calls me gay.
I’m thankful, but i am always taken for granted.
I’m thankful, but why do i always end up alone?
I’m thankful, but my insecurities eats me up from the inside.
I’m thankful, but neglect had always been a part of me.
I’m thankful, but why do i always get hurt?
I’m thankful, still.
What have I done? I wish I could run.
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
Can I start again with my faith shaken?
Cause I can’t go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I’ll get through this
So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth, that sometimes life isn’t fair
Yeah, I’ll send down a wish
Yeah, I’ll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care
What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
If i were to whip out all of my shoes which are currently enclosed and deprived from the light of the world in a clammy box in my wardrobe, i might have it all aligned just like that. All my 45 pairs of it. I’m heading Hong Kong end of this year. I mightttttt just make it to 50 pairs! heh.
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!
They say family is those who is blood related to you. I say, family is those who never leave your side; blood or no blood. It’s hard to find the unity without scrutiny.
This year, only 3 came. It gets lesser annually.
“The best feeling in the world is knowing that you actually mean something to someone.”
I couldn’t agree more.
However, sometimes the more you try to keep things close, it doesn’t get closer or tighter but instead, further. I’m sorry i crossed the imaginary line of boundary or shall i say, limits.
Misunderstood, and misintrepreted.
It’s embedded in me, that i get really upset knowing that i’ve made some people unhappy even so they say their fine. Isn’t it just natural?
I guess; i do not know what to guess but for sure that i’ve got a change of direction in life now. Good can be bad, and the bad remains bad. Right became wrong, and wrong never became right.
Suck it up. Will it get better?
Mahjong.
The only time i actually played mahjong was when the plain old computer had those memory tile game using the ambigious mahjong tiles and then on, i had no idea how the game works.
Remember this?
And with amazing memorising skills, you’d thought you’re the top of the world because you can finish the game within a few seconds, ok maybe a few a minutes. Now, here comes the story of Mahjong.
It took me a while to write this entry, because i’m caught up with work; which i still am thanks to the back to back events in July, I swear Suria is on a roll this month but i guess we’re trying to complete a gazellion things before the fasting month commence.
How bad isit that i actually had recurring dreams about work. Ok before i digress…
From good old Wiki:
Mahjong (simplified Chinese: 麻将; traditional Chinese: 麻將; pinyin: má jiàng) is a game that originated in China, commonly played by four players (with some three-player variations found in Korea and Japan). The four player table version should not be confused with the popular Western single player (tile matching) computer game (Mahjong solitaire), which is a recent invention and completely different from the table game. Similar to the Western card game rummy, mahjong is a game of skill, strategy and calculation and involves a certain degree of chance.
Held at at Toa Payoh Central Community Club (Courtesy of http://www.ourcommunity.sg), the rumble of mahjong tiles can be heard from before you enter the classroom, it was obvious that someone was late HEH. Anyway, to start it off the class was divided into a few a groups, Mr Edwin Phua our Sifu for the day, guided the participants of the class well.
Honestly, i was just a watching eye but it got me interested for a while after all this is the game that is often played until wee hours of the morning. I think the best of it all is not only about learning the game but the joy and laughter everyone is having. From bamboo’s to whatsnot, it was quite an interesting sight.
The class was filled with people of all ages, so to see them mingling around, screaming “PONGGGGGGGG” once in a while is quite an interesting sight. Of course in all, the class did thought everyone the fundamentals of mahjong, and how it trains the mind to be one skillfull player. Not only that, with the trained mind, it also enables to have focus in our daily lifestyles and much more.
Mahjong, i didn’t expect to have actually learn a thing or two from it!
Toa Payoh Central Community Club
93 Toa Payoh Central
Singapore 319194
Phone : 6252 1249
Fax : 6354 4950
Mahjong courses by Edwin Phua
I’m going through a weird exhaustion phase, where you’re too tired to even sleep and when you do; you’ll con cuss until a prince/princess kisses you.
I’ve got a little too much running around in my mind but hey, what’s new.. What’s new. I find myself naively dumb to result to such trauma, when there’s nothing to begin with but your mind; the master of all players starts to twist your thoughts around and you can’t help it but to actually fall into such trap.
I admire those who puts problems aside easily and have a perfect night rest. With that trying to conclude it all the next day. I need a tip or two to solve such situations.
7 months into 2011 and I’ve created a truck load of mistakes and I feel at times I’ve been lying to myself. On the things I do, or the things I say. I care for others too much that; I didn’t have some love for myself. I’ve been slammed, I’ve been blamed, I’ve been accused, I’ve been bitched, but in all I’ve always been quiet about it.
One of the many reasons, I didn’t want to fight back because things later might be even worse than it is because in such situations I tend to say the wrong things. Yeap, the ball of fire will definitely grow bigger. Plus one major fact, everyone wants to be right, right? That’s why fights get bigger, hatred gets deeper.
I grew up alone, where cruelty and abhorred words came hurling at me daily by almost everyone around me and, I looked around but I’ve got no one to confide too but myself. I guess that trait of not wanting to tell other people my problems stood firm in me until today.
Somehow, that didn’t stop me from treating other people nicely; because I believe no one should be treated in such negative ways. As cruel a mortal can be, they still have feelings.. Hence with this; obviously I get stepped all over just like a door mat.
*sighhh
I don’t get it, why can’t people be nice? Why can’t they spread a simple smile daily, or for once not complain about the things. A simple hello, be it a text or call would definitely brighten up someone’s day. A simple thought that you’re being remembered for all the things you’ve done for them but no. Everyone is selfish in their own way. Words; why can’t one stay true them. I find words are valuable pieces of emotions, not something cheap that is being thrown around all the time with no sense of value to it. It indeed feels like everyone manifested evil someway or another.
The saddest thing, people get defensive when they read an entry like this and I ended up being the loser of it all or being such a gay.
You live in this world once; you’ve done enough bad things why not make some good as well and take time to ponder… How sure are you, that you are not taking things for granted?
In malay, “Jikalau ikhlas, jangan minta dibalas tetapi jasa budi seseorang, jangan lupa di kenang..” From what my mom told me. Which simply means, sincerity doesn’t need anything in return but, never forget or take someone’s kindness for granted.
Don’t realize the importance of someone until they’re gone.
I’m rather rusty with words lately. The freedom of expression in writing died on me just like how my imac did a few months back. It has been quite a ride; my life that is. We’re halfway through 2011. The first 6 months swiftly went by just like lightning; barely noticing the speed but collated all the damage.
It wasn’t smooth sailing and every day seems like a new profound lesson yet to be digested.
I’m probably suffering from insane responsibility issues, the setbacks and the downfalls of wanting to stabilize work, life and lastly happiness. The negativity did took its toll on me, going through mistakes after mistakes and somehow it seems to be on a daily basis.
Everything will be fine and for sure, happiness will come thy way sooner or later.
I wouldn’t want to fail miserably as a son, a brother and a friend. Gotta hold my head high and insya’allah everything will be a-ok.
Someone reminded me, “pray and find inner peace” :)
Goodbye all, work calls.
1. Nominations are open to songs/singles/EP and albums that were released in Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia from 1 Dec 2009 to 31 December 2010.
2. All Recording Companies and Production Houses are entitled to make nominations.
3. Each nomination for each category must be accompanied by one (1) Nomination Form and Compact Disc, Video (if applicable), Artiste’s biodata and photograph.
4. Each nomination (from SINGAPORE) is to be accompanied by Crossed Cheque amounting to Singapore Dollars Twenty only (S$20), made payable to MediaCorp Pte Ltd. Cheque must be able to be cleared in Singapore directly.
5. Each nomination (from MALAYSIA) is to be accompanied by Crossed Cheque amounting to Malaysian Ringgit Fifty only (RM$50), made payable to Beyond Events Sdn Bhd. Cheque must be able to be cleared in Malaysia directly.
6. The Recording Company will be fully responsible in determining the correct and suitable category for each nomination. Any entry found to contain incorrect information or not accompanied by the requested information will be disqualified. The nomination fee will be non-refundable upon disqualification.
7. Nominations will be subjected to a round of judging by a panel of distinguished judges from Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia.
8. The criteria for judging are set out in the attached terms and conditions. The decisions of the judges are final and conclusive.
9. The closing date/time for nominations/entries is Monday, 25 April 2011 at 5 pm. Nominations should be forwarded to the following address :
P.S. Thank you to Aura Shai & PujanggaMalam.Com for letting me share this piece of information…
